Do you have sales call anxiety? Of course you have. Here’s what to do.  

Many salespeople suffer from sales call anxiety even if most wouldn’t like to admit it. One example of sales call anxiety is when you don’t like asking the hard questions that really count in a sales meeting. Those questions should help you find out what the customer’s real pain or real issue is. Instead, you end up talking about side issues that are not so important, or about things you do like talking about – just your own products or your own company.

How do you get respect as a salesperson? To answer this tough question, I always get salespeople to think about a visit to the doctor. Let’s focus on the questions the doctor might ask you.  

The doctor asks: “How much do you drink?” You answer: “A little bit.” Hmm…You know that “little bit” is not even close to the truth. If your doctor lets you get away with this “little bit” answer, would you respect him?  

Suppose the doctor now goes on and asks: “But how often do you drink?” And you reply: “Um… well, just about every day.” Would you respect this doctor now? 

 Suppose the doctor asks further: “But how many glasses do you really drink in a day?” And you answer: “Three glasses of wine.” Would you respect this doctor now? Maybe a bit, I guess.  

So now the doctor asks: “But how big are these three glasses a day?” Suddenly you find yourself admitting: “They’re big glasses… altogether they add up to a whole bottle of wine.”  

Now that’s a big difference! According to your first answer, you only drink a little bit but according to your last answer you’re drinking at least five bottles of wine a week. That’s a lot, in fact, if I were you I’d watch out for your liver. But seriously now, the point I’m making is that most patients (including you) will have more respect for the doctor who probes for the in-depth answers rather than one who settles for only superficial replies. The doctor you respect asks the harder questions.  

That’s how you get your customer to respect you. This little medical case tells us something about how customers might be perceiving you, especially if you stick to just asking the easy questions. If you don’t ask good questions, customers probably won’t respect you. In fact, they might feel they are wasting their time with you. Customers like straight talking, because that helps them express their own pain. In fact, by asking the hard questions, you will help your customer to rephrase how they see their own pain (sometimes referred to as needs and issues). This ability to rephrase the customer’s pain differently is what we call shaping. 

So, why don’t salespeople ask the hard questions? This has something to do with our fear conditioning, which is the dark side of sales call anxiety. What is fear conditioning? Think about the following story: You’re walking down a street and see a nice house. It looks good and that makes you feel good too, doesn’t it? Suddenly a huge dog runs out of the nice house, barking wildly and bites you. Ouch! How do you feel about this house now? It’s become a “scary house” because now you connect your fear of the scary dog with the house it came out of. This connection, or association, is a conditioning process that occurs in the brain: the neurons between the amygdale (which activates when we feel emotions) and the hippocampus (which activates when we recall facts) get connected. Each time you recall that house your amygdale (emotions/fear) gets activated and this activates the production of cortisol, a hormone.  

Scientists have discovered that cortisol affects our memory. It works to reinforce our perception of the “scary house.” Each time you think of this house (you don’t actually have to see it) your brain produces cortisol and this amplifies the memory in a negative way. Even talking about the house will set off the same fear response, because words can also trigger cortisol production, which, in fact rules our behavior. The secret, of course, lies in knowing how to stop this self-defeating fear response. 

Talking in a fearless context: One way to overcome fear is to practice talking in a situation where you feel no fear (= no cortisol production). The problem is, as you prepare yourself for this ideal sales conversation you’ll probably recall (hippocampus = memory of facts) what happened last time you tried talking to a customer and, whoops, there you go again, feeling anxious and fearful about the customer. That’s bad.  

Believe me, you can beat this. One good way is to find a way of thinking or talking about your customers in a non-threatening way – in other words, you’ve got to be able to talk about them without producing cortisol. Now, one person who you can share your ideas with might be your colleague. But get this: I often talk to salespeople and many of them tell me that they are more scared of talking with colleagues than with customers.  

Okay, so we don’t like showing our vulnerabilities to colleagues, perhaps even making mistakes, because they might gossip with other colleagues and this might hurt your reputation in your firm.  

Coping with anxiety: Still, it is very important to find a colleague you can trust, someone with whom you can share your fears and ideas about customers. If you can share your ideas and feelings in a non-threatening way you will stop that negative cortisol production in your brain that creates the fear response. In a safe situation you can script how you will approach a customer in real life. You might ask the harder and deeper questions! Then you won’t just overcome your fear, you will also gain the respect of your customer.  I hope you can find colleagues in your company who are mature enough to admit that they, too, have issues about customers. Share your feelings, thoughts and fears, then you can stop suffering from sales call anxiety.